I don't feel safe writing this anywhere else... so let's try here, why not?!?

I have to say thanks Jeff for making me feel safe at all times whether in person or online.

Now let's get to the point -- I feel so lonely, sad and angry. I know if I said that to someone else they'd message me, call or come over and make it known somehow.
Like Steven and Christina did when my mom was crying on the phone the other night cause she missed my dad. I had a writing thing that night and would rather have done that then end up talking about my will that is yet unwritten.

10 people are going to be in my will - my 4 nieces, 3 nephews will get a large part, 2 great nieces and 1 great nephew so far a smaller part. I don't have much but this is to make sure all the money from my parents that I don't use gets passed down and if something happens to you, don't worry your part won't get lost in the shuffle. (more kids to be named later if they are to exist)

I cannot wait to have this done, just for the reassurance of knowing everything is on paper in a legal document. This makes me feel better but still the loneliness doesn't go away. I feel like I'm missing something, like a life I don't have. ((sigh))

I suspect I'll feel better by next weekend at the latest. Damn emails everyday reminding me that my dad is gone or is elsewhere. I know of one person who could help just with a few words, a smile or a touch, damn I'm touch-starved, but he umm, only makes a cameo every blue moon.

Anyways, I'll be ok. Hopefully.