Looking at the news and the state of the world, I see a lot of fear. The fear isn't so much fear, itself, but a fear which comes from powerlessness. The idea that we are all so far from the means to control our own lives that all we know is fear in those moments. We are so used to feeling powerless under the weight of massive systems and bureaucracies and we don't even identify it as that, anymore. We just expect to be taken care of and feel fear when we aren't sure if we will be. We are essentially overgrown children.

To me, I feel that this is similar to a feeling I have had for some time. The pandemic destroyed much of what our culture was, much of what our society represented, and we replaced those things with wilful inaction and a desire to be managed and cared for. A need to feel as though, since we were no longer permitted/willing to act, someone must act for us.

I watched the last things I loved about my work die around me and I watched as any connection I had to that world pulled back and withered. I did NOT want to be managed. I wanted to be responsible and challenged, but I wanted to find connections through that.

Well, I think that we could use a lot more of that sentiment about now: Responsibility to excel, the ability to find that excellence through challenge, and the promise that we will find meaningful and rich connections to help us against those challenges.

I don't want to feal powerless, hated, and isolated. Maybe if more of us chose to reject this situation, we would find what we need to push through it and ultimately triumph,
...Nights