These days, I have such a hard time feeling motivated to work on the projects I have in play.

On one level, this isn't new, and such motivation comes and goes. On another level, I wonder if it is something else or just an existing trend which is worsening.

I think that much of it is distraction addiction but also the feeling of hopelessness. Why do much of anything when life is going to be boring and futile, anyway? I am doing all of this for my own amusement, but my own notion of amusement is pretty muted, these days.

At least I have been managing to get out, in the warm weather. Today was a half-decent bike-ride and a bit of a walk.

The weather has also been nice for reading in the park. I am nearing the end of "Foundation and Empire" so I will need to see if the third book is in that local bookstore.

Still, I wish I had more social connections and I really miss having technical connections. It seems that our culture now frowns upon social connections (they need to be in service of some company's services or they are "scary") and anyone with whom I could share a technical connection is gone (busy or not returning my communication attempts, one way or another).

There are a few social outings over the next few weeks will at least be an excuse to get out and be among people. Now, if only I still felt comfortable among said people and if only I felt comfortable enough anywhere to be myself.

Instead, I suppose it will be more of the "dance of the meat puppet".

I wish I had something more interesting to say, as to not be such a drag,
...Nights