Moonless Nights
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z5AanNVJCxnNYeFdyoqLV9JKHUcviviTrfr5s6NVdTzQQuN2dsxH35G
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Description:
My personal channel, largely replacing those I used to have on other systems, back in the client-server days.
This channel is mostly for just writing personal thoughts about inter-personal relationships, technical opinions, the direction of humanity and its cultures, and a search for purpose, more broadly.
Personally, I am a software developer (systems programming, if you were interested). In my personal life, I am polyamorous (however you feel about that). Socially, I like to associate with the goth scene (which I have done since early 2003).
This channel is mostly for just writing personal thoughts about inter-personal relationships, technical opinions, the direction of humanity and its cultures, and a search for purpose, more broadly.
Personally, I am a software developer (systems programming, if you were interested). In my personal life, I am polyamorous (however you feel about that). Socially, I like to associate with the goth scene (which I have done since early 2003).
Re: Jeff and Korey (10 years ago today) (on Feb. 3, 2026, 5:22:47 p.m.)
Aww, I do miss getting to see that little kitty. He was always so energetic and quick to switch into play-fighting mode.
Re: "The Bride!" (on Jan. 30, 2026, 5:15:54 p.m.)
I am really not sure where this movie will go. I don't know much about the source material or if this is only from an earlier movie (in which case it isn't too concrete). On one hand, it seems like an interesting story we haven't seen anyone do [...]
Re: Interesting poem. (on Jan. 29, 2026, 12:04:51 p.m.)
This thing about colour names reminded me about how English didn't used to have a name for "orange" until the fruit was imported (it used to be something like "yellow-red").
Somehow, this got my mind going down the path of "impossible colours" with [...]
Somehow, this got my mind going down the path of "impossible colours" with [...]
Re: Orange - poem by me. (on Jan. 29, 2026, 11:55:14 a.m.)
Aww, I hope that writing things like this is helping you through such a difficult loss.
Illness, Tedious Textures, and Familiar Faces (on Jan. 21, 2026, 9:16:21 a.m.)
Based on how I felt yesterday, it seems like that "feeling not 100%" was the onset of a cold. Feeling better, today, at least (no more sore throat, chills, or muscle aches - just stuffed sinuses and a bit of a cough).
However, I did manage to get [...]
However, I did manage to get [...]
Questions of Winter and Trials of Animation (on Jan. 19, 2026, 11:44:22 p.m.)
I have been feeling horribly lethargic, today, and my throat feels a bit strange. I was a zombie yesterday, too, but after being out until 4 AM on Saturday night, drinking, that much made sense.
So, this leads to the question I find often comes up [...]
So, this leads to the question I find often comes up [...]
Re: Catchup (on Jan. 12, 2026, 6:49:42 p.m.)
It is good to hear that you are back and feeling somewhat better.
I was worried when you weren't responding.
I was worried when you weren't responding.
Need to plan drinking more flexibly (on Jan. 11, 2026, 8:16:24 p.m.)
I think I drank too much on Friday night, mostly because of how rough I felt Saturday morning. Uggh, probably the most hungover I have been in a few years. The odd thing is that I have definitely been more drunk than that, within that time frame [...]
End of the Year (on Dec. 31, 2025, 10:04:26 p.m.)
So, the odometer will roll over in a couple of hours and 2026 will begin.
This year has, for better or worse, been much like the one before.
I do know that I need to keep in mind the belief that humans are generally friendly and looking for [...]
This year has, for better or worse, been much like the one before.
I do know that I need to keep in mind the belief that humans are generally friendly and looking for [...]
Illness Caught Up (on Dec. 28, 2025, 10:21:30 a.m.)
I seem to have finally succumbed to a seasonal cold, this year. I guess it makes sense after spending a few days travelling in the cold and going to family dinners that I would come down with something.
Had to cancel my plans for yesterday once I [...]
Had to cancel my plans for yesterday once I [...]
The Great Sorrow of the Greatest Loss (on Dec. 16, 2025, 3:32:46 p.m.)
It is hard to think about the sorrow someone is experiencing when going through a great loss. At the same time, it is hard to stop thinking about it.
I want to say something but there is nothing to say and I don't want to be a distraction from [...]
I want to say something but there is nothing to say and I don't want to be a distraction from [...]
To travel again the old road alone (on Dec. 13, 2025, 9:19:47 p.m.)
I finally have a moment where nothing of greater importance preempts me and so I feel myself called to perform the ritual.
It has been a long time and I am not sure if the ground of my mind is fertile enough to host what must grow for this outing [...]
It has been a long time and I am not sure if the ground of my mind is fertile enough to host what must grow for this outing [...]
Re: More sleeping troubles (on Dec. 11, 2025, 10:00:21 p.m.)
The normal produce store I go to in Chinatown hasn't had the usual vegetables I use so I have just been omitting them, meaning the dishes have less variety in them.
I heard that some people were sick earlier in the week so maybe I was just fighting [...]
I heard that some people were sick earlier in the week so maybe I was just fighting [...]
Unloaded expression (on Dec. 8, 2025, 9:44:56 p.m.)
Something I have complained about for years is how I dislike the way that modern culture pathologizes everything and everyone. We no longer feel down or lonely, we are only depressed. We no longer have a hard time communicating our thoughts, we [...]
More sleeping troubles (on Dec. 8, 2025, 9:37:39 p.m.)
It is strange how I periodically go through these cycles where I have a hard time sleeping. Specifically, I have a hard time staying asleep. I wake up earlier than I want to, still feeling exhausted, but unable to do anything about it.
Then, I [...]
Then, I [...]
Discontinuity (on Dec. 7, 2025, 10:44:01 p.m.)
Despite doing a reasonably good job of keeping in mind the idea that humans fundamentally value connection and are mostly friendly, most of the time, there is still something missing in me.
I vaguely remember being more human. I felt more [...]
I vaguely remember being more human. I felt more [...]
Re: What I wrote on Substack today. Not sure this is good for me, lol. (on Dec. 6, 2025, 10:00:57 p.m.)
Sorry I didn't see this earlier. It looks like us being out of sync was finally resolved (some kind of IPFS-ism I am always surprised can get this bad).
I can't do too much to help but do remember that you are never imposing when you text, or [...]
I can't do too much to help but do remember that you are never imposing when you text, or [...]
Re: Rebuild of Evangelion (on Dec. 1, 2025, 6:40:20 p.m.)
Did you also see the movie, Rebellion? A sequel to that has been delayed for several years but is supposed to come out early in 2026: Walpurgisnacht Rising.
I know that people generally liked the movie but reactions to the ending were [...]
I know that people generally liked the movie but reactions to the ending were [...]
Warm and Cold (on Nov. 30, 2025, 8:35:24 p.m.)
Last night was strange in that I had a conversation with one person which reaffirmed that belief that we all yearn for connection, only to have another conversation with someone else less than 2 hours later which seemed to imply that the world is [...]
Re: Rebuild of Evangelion (on Nov. 29, 2025, 4:36:55 p.m.)
Yeah, it is strange in that the first movie is just a compacted remake of the first several episodes. Movie 2 is mostly a remake of most of the rest of the series, but then has a very different ending, introduces a new character, and changes the [...]
Asymptotic Pursuits and the Drive of Humanity (on Nov. 27, 2025, 11:59:32 a.m.)
Over the past little while, I have been trying not to worry about how mainstream culture thinks. For the longest time, looking at its "quick to judge, slow to understand" nature or its bizarre deification of its rules left me feeling isolated and [...]
Re: Tech stuff and grief writing (on Nov. 26, 2025, 11:06:59 p.m.)
Wow, it is crazy to hear that you need to pay for a tool to sort this out. Then again, maybe the issue was actually complicated or otherwise insidious and this might just be the tool for the job. If what you are doing hasn't changed meaningfully [...]
Of Prestige and Purpose (on Nov. 26, 2025, 10:58:43 p.m.)
On the weekend, a woman asked me what I do for a living. I gave my wishy-washy sort of "I am a software developer, but just working on strange projects, these days" answer. This made me feel strange.
Part of the problem is that I don't know why [...]
Part of the problem is that I don't know why [...]
Rebuild of Evangelion (on Nov. 25, 2025, 1:15:32 a.m.)
So, I finished watching these "Rebuild" movies. I should probably sit and think about this for a while but here are some initial thoughts (no real spoilers, I don't think).
First off, they were good. Now, this means that they are worth watching [...]
First off, they were good. Now, this means that they are worth watching [...]
Resting in the Beach Memory (on Nov. 24, 2025, 1:05:48 a.m.)
I feel myself waking up as I become aware of the weight of my body and the sounds of the environment. Nearby, I hear the gentle lapping of the water against sand. Ah, that explains this coarse substance pressing against my cheek. I slowly open my [...]