Moonless Nights
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z5AanNVJCxnNYeFdyoqLV9JKHUcviviTrfr5s6NVdTzQQuN2dsxH35G
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Description:
My personal channel, largely replacing those I used to have on other systems, back in the client-server days.
This channel is mostly for just writing personal thoughts about inter-personal relationships, technical opinions, the direction of humanity and its cultures, and a search for purpose, more broadly.
Personally, I am a software developer (systems programming, if you were interested). In my personal life, I am polyamorous (however you feel about that). Socially, I like to associate with the goth scene (which I have done since early 2003).
This channel is mostly for just writing personal thoughts about inter-personal relationships, technical opinions, the direction of humanity and its cultures, and a search for purpose, more broadly.
Personally, I am a software developer (systems programming, if you were interested). In my personal life, I am polyamorous (however you feel about that). Socially, I like to associate with the goth scene (which I have done since early 2003).
Need to get back into writing (on Jul. 11, 2026, 11:00:35 p.m.)
Something which has bothered me, the last little while, is that I almost never do any sort of creative writing, anymore. Be it drunken inspiration or just hashing out some thoughts, I so rarely sit down to write.
There are a few reasons for this: [...]
There are a few reasons for this: [...]
Re: The Gate of Unknown Locks (on Jul. 10, 2026, 12:20:20 a.m.)
The problem is that there aren't many places to socialize and meet people, these days. Without an office and without a goth club, I am out of places where people interact (I assume talking to strangers in public spaces is fully demonized, by now, [...]
Re: Killing Boredom (on Jul. 9, 2026, 1:19:03 a.m.)
Ah, the boredom is always there, it seems. It is part of why I try to get out to read in the park, these days. It is something to do which is actually pleasant and interesting, not just distracting.
The Gate of Unknown Locks (on Jul. 8, 2026, 12:22:43 a.m.)
I walk by the gate, stopping in front of it to look at it for a moment, with a sort of sad frown painted across my face.
The gate doesn't go anywhere at the moment. Rarely does the world on the other side line up with it so it is little more than [...]
The gate doesn't go anywhere at the moment. Rarely does the world on the other side line up with it so it is little more than [...]
Re: Loneliness and Fear (on Jul. 6, 2026, 10:37:51 p.m.)
I said something which is subtly critical of modern mainstream political ideology.
Since religion and politics are the same thing, anything not worshipping the ideology is effectively a new form of blasphemy.
Hence, I am worried that I may be [...]
Since religion and politics are the same thing, anything not worshipping the ideology is effectively a new form of blasphemy.
Hence, I am worried that I may be [...]
Missing Chaos (on Jul. 6, 2026, 10:36:13 p.m.)
Given that our culture has somehow changed to something very kid-friendly (you know, for adults, for some reason), where all media has to be some kind of propaganda (it needs to be what you are told to be and re-affirm the ideas you are being told [...]
Loneliness and Fear (on Jul. 4, 2026, 2:34:21 p.m.)
Last night was a generally good night out but the ending of it did leave me feeling... unpleasant.
Late in the night, all the people I knew left to go do something else and didn't invite me along. I know that I am not essential for anything or [...]
Late in the night, all the people I knew left to go do something else and didn't invite me along. I know that I am not essential for anything or [...]
Re: Experiment Results (on Jul. 3, 2026, 3:01:13 p.m.)
I assume that you were at least still rinsing water through your hair, in that time? Did you try using anything else on it or just water?
Back in my 20s, I used nothing but water on my hair for a few years. All the hair oils in it made may hair [...]
Back in my 20s, I used nothing but water on my hair for a few years. All the hair oils in it made may hair [...]
Overthought Trivialities (on Jun. 24, 2026, 10:47:58 p.m.)
Recently, I was thinking about some details of a project I have had sitting in the back of my mind for years. Not sure if it is something I will ever pursue (there are multiple paths to that outcome), but I sometimes think about it.
The main point [...]
The main point [...]
The Perpetual "Kids' Table" (on Jun. 19, 2026, 12:49:34 a.m.)
Part of what is making me really feel like I don't belong in existence is that I so rarely hear an insightful or even just uncommon opinion or perspective on something.
It seems like mainstream discourse has become so obsessed with repeating "safe" [...]
It seems like mainstream discourse has become so obsessed with repeating "safe" [...]
Plans within plans (on Jun. 10, 2026, 12:10:39 a.m.)
So far, I am finding Foundation quite engaging.
Thinking about the entire structure of it, essentially being a very long game where a plan is woven around all the characters, it reminds me of the old curiousity of how often such things are going on [...]
Thinking about the entire structure of it, essentially being a very long game where a plan is woven around all the characters, it reminds me of the old curiousity of how often such things are going on [...]
Not much to say (on Jun. 1, 2026, 11:42:01 p.m.)
For some reason, I feel like I should have more on my mind but I haven't been up to too much, of late. I think that my distraction addiction is getting worse, or something.
At least I am trying to get out, more often, as it warms up. Still, it [...]
At least I am trying to get out, more often, as it warms up. Still, it [...]
When movies don't land (Sunshine - 2007) (on May 26, 2026, 11:56:18 p.m.)
I have heard this movie recommended before (even by The Drinker) and have seen it referenced in various video essays so I figured I would rent it and give it a watch.
Well, I didn't like it. In fact, for the last 20+ minutes, I was just hoping it [...]
Well, I didn't like it. In fact, for the last 20+ minutes, I was just hoping it [...]
Re: Sitting at the "kids'" table for one night (on May 25, 2026, 7:34:49 p.m.)
Yeah, it is frustrating how the modern world has made talking about "groups of people" like that so trendy, along with other vague armchair political statements.
At least I rarely see it in person (as I don't see people, in person) but I guess I do [...]
At least I rarely see it in person (as I don't see people, in person) but I guess I do [...]
Misc Update (on May 25, 2026, 7:23:06 p.m.)
For whatever reason, I haven't been getting much done in this past week. Of course, it isn't all bad, since I have been running through some OP ideas for how to handle this complex villager AI and I think I might have an idea for how to address [...]
Re: The Carrot (on May 20, 2026, 11:36:03 p.m.)
That is frustrating that this stuck in some limbo state, like that. I also really dislike being held at the mercy of bureaucracy.
I am glad that you like being able to use this. It is technically public but doesn't live anywhere in particular so [...]
I am glad that you like being able to use this. It is technically public but doesn't live anywhere in particular so [...]
Re: Summer and Disconnection (on May 20, 2026, 11:32:23 p.m.)
I would believe that this is more of a problem since the pandemic. It seems like more disagreements were, for some reason, wrapped up into very coarse tribal lines at around that time.
I suspect that a big part of this is human disconnection. In [...]
I suspect that a big part of this is human disconnection. In [...]
Re: Game is getting there (on May 18, 2026, 5:22:09 p.m.)
Thanks!
I would be interested in hearing what you think of it, sometime.
I would be interested in hearing what you think of it, sometime.
Summer and Disconnection (on May 18, 2026, 5:21:41 p.m.)
Yesterday and today were strangely warm and sunny, meaning that I was able to finally get out for somewhat longer walks in my Vibrams and then spend some time reading in the park. Forecast makes it look like this will be short-lived but it was a [...]
Game is getting there (on May 14, 2026, 10:54:13 p.m.)
The next OP release will be ready within the next few days but it is so far seeming pretty good. The new sub-block collision mechanism has improved the "feel" of playing the game, substantially (since you can now use things like stairs to walk out [...]
Re: Caboto Terrace - Dufferin and Lawrence. (on May 14, 2026, 1:06:08 a.m.)
The place looks nice (the floor is a nice style). Hopefully it is spacious enough for you and the heating is a decent price (looks electric).
I hope that everything comes through for you soon and that everything is a go for your move.
I hope that everything comes through for you soon and that everything is a go for your move.
The Blood (on May 11, 2026, 8:14:02 p.m.)
It seems like the nearby Canadian Blood Services building isn't booked solid for the next month (finally) so I decided to drop by since I haven't donated in about a year. I was waiting on my new donor card, which never came, but now seems like it [...]
No Big Plans (on May 11, 2026, 12:20:50 a.m.)
Despite not going out, this weekend, I still ended up feeling rough. Slept terribly on Friday night so I was a complete zombie all Saturday. Slept fine Saturday night (somehow) but still felt a little out of it on Sunday.
For some reason, I am [...]
For some reason, I am [...]
Doom of Dreams and Doom of Days (on May 7, 2026, 7:34:55 a.m.)
Slept poorly and woke up due to unsettling dreams. Now, having trouble getting back to sleep so I guess I will start the day a few hours early and hope that I am not too much of a zombie, later.
The dream was an unholy union of "stuck in [...]
The dream was an unholy union of "stuck in [...]
When I was Greater (on May 6, 2026, 1:47:02 a.m.)
I was recently reminded that I used to be inspired to write quasi-fictional little stories, from time to time. It was mostly just a melodramatic way of describing what was going on in my life or just in my mind. For some reason, I haven't done [...]