Based on how I felt yesterday, it seems like that "feeling not 100%" was the onset of a cold. Feeling better, today, at least (no more sore throat, chills, or muscle aches - just stuffed sinuses and a bit of a cough).

However, I did manage to get [...]

Questions of Winter and Trials of Animation

I have been feeling horribly lethargic, today, and my throat feels a bit strange. I was a zombie yesterday, too, but after being out until 4 AM on Saturday night, drinking, that much made sense.

So, this leads to the question I find often comes up [...]

Re: Catchup

It is good to hear that you are back and feeling somewhat better.

I was worried when you weren't responding.

Need to plan drinking more flexibly

I think I drank too much on Friday night, mostly because of how rough I felt Saturday morning. Uggh, probably the most hungover I have been in a few years. The odd thing is that I have definitely been more drunk than that, within that time frame [...]

End of the Year

So, the odometer will roll over in a couple of hours and 2026 will begin.

This year has, for better or worse, been much like the one before.

I do know that I need to keep in mind the belief that humans are generally friendly and looking for [...]

Illness Caught Up

I seem to have finally succumbed to a seasonal cold, this year. I guess it makes sense after spending a few days travelling in the cold and going to family dinners that I would come down with something.

Had to cancel my plans for yesterday once I [...]

The Great Sorrow of the Greatest Loss

It is hard to think about the sorrow someone is experiencing when going through a great loss. At the same time, it is hard to stop thinking about it.

I want to say something but there is nothing to say and I don't want to be a distraction from [...]

To travel again the old road alone

I finally have a moment where nothing of greater importance preempts me and so I feel myself called to perform the ritual.

It has been a long time and I am not sure if the ground of my mind is fertile enough to host what must grow for this outing [...]

Re: More sleeping troubles

The normal produce store I go to in Chinatown hasn't had the usual vegetables I use so I have just been omitting them, meaning the dishes have less variety in them.

I heard that some people were sick earlier in the week so maybe I was just fighting [...]

Unloaded expression

Something I have complained about for years is how I dislike the way that modern culture pathologizes everything and everyone. We no longer feel down or lonely, we are only depressed. We no longer have a hard time communicating our thoughts, we [...]

More sleeping troubles

It is strange how I periodically go through these cycles where I have a hard time sleeping. Specifically, I have a hard time staying asleep. I wake up earlier than I want to, still feeling exhausted, but unable to do anything about it.

Then, I [...]

Discontinuity

Despite doing a reasonably good job of keeping in mind the idea that humans fundamentally value connection and are mostly friendly, most of the time, there is still something missing in me.

I vaguely remember being more human. I felt more [...]

Re: What I wrote on Substack today. Not sure this is good for me, lol.

Sorry I didn't see this earlier. It looks like us being out of sync was finally resolved (some kind of IPFS-ism I am always surprised can get this bad).

I can't do too much to help but do remember that you are never imposing when you text, or [...]

Re: Rebuild of Evangelion

Did you also see the movie, Rebellion? A sequel to that has been delayed for several years but is supposed to come out early in 2026: Walpurgisnacht Rising.

I know that people generally liked the movie but reactions to the ending were [...]

Warm and Cold

Last night was strange in that I had a conversation with one person which reaffirmed that belief that we all yearn for connection, only to have another conversation with someone else less than 2 hours later which seemed to imply that the world is [...]

Re: Rebuild of Evangelion

Yeah, it is strange in that the first movie is just a compacted remake of the first several episodes. Movie 2 is mostly a remake of most of the rest of the series, but then has a very different ending, introduces a new character, and changes the [...]

Asymptotic Pursuits and the Drive of Humanity

Over the past little while, I have been trying not to worry about how mainstream culture thinks. For the longest time, looking at its "quick to judge, slow to understand" nature or its bizarre deification of its rules left me feeling isolated and [...]

Re: Tech stuff and grief writing

Wow, it is crazy to hear that you need to pay for a tool to sort this out. Then again, maybe the issue was actually complicated or otherwise insidious and this might just be the tool for the job. If what you are doing hasn't changed meaningfully [...]

Of Prestige and Purpose

On the weekend, a woman asked me what I do for a living. I gave my wishy-washy sort of "I am a software developer, but just working on strange projects, these days" answer. This made me feel strange.

Part of the problem is that I don't know why [...]

Rebuild of Evangelion

So, I finished watching these "Rebuild" movies. I should probably sit and think about this for a while but here are some initial thoughts (no real spoilers, I don't think).

First off, they were good. Now, this means that they are worth watching [...]

Resting in the Beach Memory

I feel myself waking up as I become aware of the weight of my body and the sounds of the environment. Nearby, I hear the gentle lapping of the water against sand. Ah, that explains this coarse substance pressing against my cheek. I slowly open my [...]

Grabbed this picture of some graffiti on the side of a building near my place, the other day. It was interesting that I only really noticed this while on a walk to contemplate how I felt after completing the series.

I guess such things do just [...]

Re: Carrying Capacity

Aww, that is sweet. Plus, you know that I am a sucker for wording like "and I am build, just like my kin, to withstand the storm"

Re: Carrying Capacity

I am happy to hear that it seemed interesting. I can never tell if some of the things I think about are worth discussing or just too pedestrian.

Carrying Capacity

Something I have thought about, over much of my adult life, is how terrible it is that some people categorize others and then mistreat or prejudge them, applying different standards based on _whatever_. Recently, however, I have been trying to [...]