When I sit back and look at how disconnected I feel and what I wish I could find in more of my day-to-day life, I suspect that I must come across as quite the whiny bitch.

I worry that I am a bad friend and partner, useless employee, and generally unpleasant person.

Then again, I am not really sure what I am supposed to be doing, so I can't be sure.

If only I could find a way to find a sense of meaning and something to look forward to. I have been without either since probably late in 2019 and that is starting to leave scars.

Not anything useful, I know, but I felt as though I just needed to get the thoughts out of my head,
...Nights