Jason
I had to share the above meme. Love it so much. I wrote Cinderella from the perspective of the Prince a couple of weeks ago and my friend Emily had me writing it from the perspective of the glass slipper a week or so ago. Today, this came up on my FB feed.
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The polyam death cafe was not what I was looking for, they ended up talking about death in general and not so much about the effect of it...
it was a non-hierarchical "safe" group space which I wish would happen in other groups I've been to, they were very nice people, just the topic wasn't focusing on the right aspect for me. I don't know what I was expecting.
Went to sleep right after and ended up dreaming of some sort of ceremony (not a funeral, not a wedding) I was involved in. (I took a boat there with some of my cousins when it was surmised that we wouldn't get there by car because the only person who could take me by car was my ex Jason and for some reason, I was scared to get into his car. LOL. At least I COULD get into his car - no wheelchair in this dream.
As much as he's my ex and I shouldn't, I do miss him.
I think it's just cause I can't have him though. It's possible he misses me too, for the same reason. He did show up at my dad's funeral two months ago and came up to me, didn't say much of anything and lightly ran his hands up and down my arms as if he was trying to heal me (the name Jason means "healer", if anything. he knows I know that) and then said "sorry for your loss but hey, I'm here" literally putting his cheek to mine, for once he didn't kiss me, but it was a little odd, I hadn't seen him in a few years. My mom thought he looked sort of homeless. haha, he's somewhere living off the grid. I actually didn't think he looked that bad.
Anyway, I need to get ready to go to Routes today. My pickup is at 10:05, so I gotta go.
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The polyam death cafe was not what I was looking for, they ended up talking about death in general and not so much about the effect of it...
it was a non-hierarchical "safe" group space which I wish would happen in other groups I've been to, they were very nice people, just the topic wasn't focusing on the right aspect for me. I don't know what I was expecting.
Went to sleep right after and ended up dreaming of some sort of ceremony (not a funeral, not a wedding) I was involved in. (I took a boat there with some of my cousins when it was surmised that we wouldn't get there by car because the only person who could take me by car was my ex Jason and for some reason, I was scared to get into his car. LOL. At least I COULD get into his car - no wheelchair in this dream.
As much as he's my ex and I shouldn't, I do miss him.
I think it's just cause I can't have him though. It's possible he misses me too, for the same reason. He did show up at my dad's funeral two months ago and came up to me, didn't say much of anything and lightly ran his hands up and down my arms as if he was trying to heal me (the name Jason means "healer", if anything. he knows I know that) and then said "sorry for your loss but hey, I'm here" literally putting his cheek to mine, for once he didn't kiss me, but it was a little odd, I hadn't seen him in a few years. My mom thought he looked sort of homeless. haha, he's somewhere living off the grid. I actually didn't think he looked that bad.
Anyway, I need to get ready to go to Routes today. My pickup is at 10:05, so I gotta go.