Yesterday and today were strangely warm and sunny, meaning that I was able to finally get out for somewhat longer walks in my Vibrams and then spend some time reading in the park. Forecast makes it look like this will be short-lived but it was a nice change of pace for a few days.

Beyond that, however, my mind is shifting to a pretty unpleasant place. Not only do I not think I am likely to make any good connections with anyone new, I am starting to not want to. Sure, I would like to know a few more people who would like to spend time with me. I like shared conversations, shared moments, shared physical connection (if it goes in that direction), and shared interests (where we find them), but I just don't think that those are likely to be found.

To put it in simple terms, making connections "sounds like a lot of work". Specifically, I mean that it sounds like a lot of work to explain myself. I seem to have pretty uncommon priorities, considerations, and interests when compared to our modern ultra-conformist culture of "quick to judge, slow to understand" where dreams were abandoned in favour of nebulous blame games when anything worth doing was mocked, for some reason.

I really don't want to explain my views on things like the gig economy, cash-free transactions, anti-vice obedience culture, or hyper-judgemental mainstream fixations. And these are just the day-to-day things, not even the more complex ones like my uncommon thoughts on what constitutes polyamory as compared to other relationship styles (and no, I am not being an elitist - they are all good if they are authentic and properly communicated). I think about all of this, and just kind of sigh and hope I die before I am in a position to bore or frustrate someone with all of that.

I am not a biohazard, but I may be a cognitohazard,
...Nights