My doctor fucked with my meds and switched one of them to night time instead of morning, so now though I have time I am not very social.

It's kinda funny, I look back on social media elsewhere and this is one of the most unstable days of my existence, starting in 2016.

Now I'm stable, really stable. I don't even think the same anymore. Last night I didn't sleep until 10:30pm because I was thinking over my last episode and afraid to close my eyes, on top of not being tired/sleepy at all. How the hell did I learn Soul II Soul's "Back to Life" song and play it on the piano a few times in the hospital last February (song was released in 1989) Hell, maybe it's a creative thing. Maybe that's what my friend Mike was doing when he started playing "Right Here Waiting" by Richard Marx and teaching me the song. I know I could never play it again and haven't been able to since 2012 (same hospital, same piano) I miss my creative side,

I wish I knew how the brain works in bipolar and schizophrenic mania.

I look back on social media today and realize that none of it makes sense anymore. Perhaps in 5 years my posts about cats and dogs in Springfield (jokes about Trump's comments) won't make sense anymore either. Hopefully he's a blip on the radar of Kamala Harris. But what do I care? Or why should I? I'm not American!

I've been listening to the australian Band Savage Garden non-stop for 2 days, pretty much. I just remembered how much I love them. Found the lead singer Darren Hayes on instagram, he has written a book coming out November 5th and I want to read it. What's new? I always want to read something but never get to it. I want to change that.

Right now I'm reading "Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor E. Frankl, who was a psychiatrist in 1945. It's for Route's bookclub. I'm surprised they suggested we read something so heavy but here we are. I saw an interview of Viktor's on youtube 5 years ago after my accident -- I was looking for meaning in life I guess. Most of what he says is so damn true that I'm surprised the medical vein of psychiatry still exists... but anyway yeah, that's my slice of writing for today.