Whenever I need to go do something involving LinkedIn, it gives me such an unpleasant feeling.

On one level, there is the disingenuous feeling of how people's comments are structured, being unnaturally excited about trivialities for the purposes of marketing (either themselves or their current employer or business partners). Then there are the employment contacts which clearly don't fit me. Then there is the difficult part: The job contacts which kind of fit me but are coming through recruiters.

I think that this upsets me since I look at these as "this might be nice... but I am not part of the world, anymore" (and feel that sense of being excluded from humanity) or "this might be nice but... I can't deal with recruiters" (contacts within companies are good but I have only ever had bad experiences dealing with recruiters).

I just don't know what to do and I no longer feel as though I am actually part of the world, anymore. I think I just became too tired of having the same arguments or too jaded by horrific business models. Whatever it is, I can no longer even imagine new experiences connecting me to the world, be they professional or social.

I guess this reminds me of the line, "Don't cry for me. I am already dead."

...Nights